I HAVE to get better about posting on the go because getting down to the computer to upload photos and type is just…. not happening. We are moving! Yay! Here is a primer for those of you are may also be moving and have toddlers and/or dogs. I am starting with the easy process of getting the house ready to be photographed.
Preparing your home for real estate photographers (with a toddler and 2 dogs) in 18 easy steps!
1. Schedule to have your home photographed, then read through your realtor’s helpful staging tips. Immediately freak out and start shoving everything into the nearest closet. Watch in dismay as your toddler pulls each item back out.
2. On the day of the photo shoot, plan to wake up early to clean and do last minute preparations on the house. When you wake up, realize with horror that this is the one day in his entire life that your toddler decided to sleep in past eight.
3. Feed hungry dogs. Make sure that you take toddler with you as you feed each dog, or else be prepared to listen to him scream because he cannot participate (participate=eating dog food or dumping dog water).
4. Try to eat your own breakfast and make/drink coffee while your toddler “eats.”
5. Clean up messy toddler after he’s “eaten” (smeared and thrown food everywhere). Try to finish eating and drink your coffee while cleaning up.
6. Let dogs out, while simultaneously calming crying toddler who also wants to be let out.
7. Attempt to load the dishwasher, watch as toddler unloads the dishwasher.
8. Nurse toddler who is hungry because he didn’t eat breakfast.
9. Attempt to straighten up the living room while toddler pushes around a large sprinkler attachment.
10. Stop for a minute to wonder: where did said sprinkler attachment come from? Why is it in the house? Why do I buy toys for my toddler?
11. Stop toddler from hitting the dog over the head with the sprinkler attachment.
12. Attempt to vacuum the floor, while toddler follows you, crying because HE wants to push the vacuum and dog barks incessantly and tries to bite the vacuum.
13. Clean the bathrooms, making sure toddler doesn’t put the toilet brush in his mouth or drop anything into the toilet. Stay so busy monitoring the toilet that you forget about the dog dishes until toddler is eating dog food and dumping water on the (clean) floor.
14. Make beds, but first entertain toddler by playing peek-a-boo with the blankets. Have so much fun that you lose track of time, leaving yourself 10 minutes to load the dogs and toddler into the car.
15. Frantically attempt to locate dog leashes, finally finding them in a half packed moving box in the basement. Spend 3 minutes coaxing the blind dog down the stairs while making sure that the toddler doesn’t fall down the other flight of stairs.
16. Load the blind dog in the car while watching the toddler play in the garage. Next load the giant dog in the car (she can’t jump, so you have to half lift/half push her into the back). Make sure toddler does not run into the road and/or pick up any mousetraps from the garage floor.
17. Remove mousetrap from toddler’s mouth. Load toddler into car seat and drive dogs to the kennel, enjoying the background noise of one whining dog and one squealing toddler. Once at the kennel, take the dogs inside in shifts, as it is not advisable to attempt carrying a toddler while managing a blind dog and a 90 pound dog on two leashes.
18. After dropping off the dogs at the kennel, return home to meet your realtor and spend 30 more minutes cleaning and hiding personal items, while watching your realtor turn your home into a beautiful stage home. Wait, are we sure we want to sell this house?